Uko wababarira uwo mwashakanye mukongera kubana mu mahoro

Iyo utonganye n’uwo mwashakanye, akenshi mukunda kugarura ibintu mwapfuye kera byagombye kuba byaribagiranye. Ibyo biterwa ni iki ? Umwe muri mwe ashobora kuba atazi kubabarira, cyangwa mwembi mukaba mutabizi.Ariko mushobora kubyitoza.

Icyakora, reka tubanze dusuzume impamvu kubabarira bishobora kugora abashakanye :

Kwihagararaho. Hari abagabo n’abagore banga kubabarira abo bashakanye kugira ngo batabasuzugura. Iyo ibibazo byongeye kuvuka, babibutsa ibyabaye mu gihe cyashize, bikaba nk’iturufu yo gukomeza kubategeka uko bashaka.

Kumanjirwa. Hari abantu bashaka, bibwira ko urugo rwabo ruzaba rumeze nk’ibyo babona muri filimi z’urukundo. Iyo bagize ibyo batumvikanaho, banga kuva ku izima, bakibaza ukuntu uwo muntu bumvaga ko bakwiranye atabona ibintu nka bo. Iyo umuntu yari yiteze ibintu bidashyize mu gaciro, bishobora gutuma ahora ashakisha amakosa kuri mugenzi we, no kujya amubabarira bikarushaho kumugora.

Kutamenya akamaro ko kubabarira. Abenshi mu bashakanye banga kubabarirana bitewe n’uko baba batiyumvisha icyo kubabarira bisobanura. Urugero, hari abumva ko kubabarira uwo mwashakanye bisobanura : korora ibibi, kwobagirwa ibyabaye, kurudhaho kumwiteza. Mu by’ukuri ibyo byose ntaho bihuriye no kubabarira.
Wakora iki kugiranmgo ubashe kubabarira ?

Menya icyo kubabarira bisobanura. Hari igihe “kubabarira” bisobanura “kwirengagiza.” Ubwo rero, kubabarira ntibisobanura buri gihe ko ugomba kwibagirwa ibyabaye cyangwa ngo worore ibibi. Rimwe na rimwe, bisobanura ko wirengagiza ibyabaye, kugira ngo wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mugire amahoro.

Menya ingaruka zo kutababarira. Hari impuguke zivuga ko kubika inzika bishobora gutera indwara z’umubiri n’izo mu byiyumvo, urugero nko kwiheba, umuvuduko ukabije w’amaraso, tutiriwe tuvuga ko bishobora kugusenyera.

Menya akamaro ko kubabarira. Aho kugira ngo urware inzika uwo mwashakanye, kumubabarira bizagufasha kumva ko atari agambiriye kukubabaza. Ibyo bizatuma mwirinda inzika kandi bitume urukundo mukundana rwiyongera.

Jya ushyira mu gaciro. Kubabarira uwo mwashakanye bizarushaho kukorohera numwemera uko ari, hakubiyemo n’intege nke ze zose. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “iyo wibanze ku byo utabonye, kwibagirwa ibyo wabonye biroroha. None se uzahitamo kwibanda ku ki” (Fighting for Your Marriage) ? Ujye wibuka ko nta muntu n’umwe utunganye, hakubiyemo nawe ubwawe.

Jya ushyira mu gaciro. Ubutaha uwo mwashakanye nagira icyo akora cyangwa akagira icyo avuga kikakubabaza, uzibaze uti “ese koko ibyo yankoreye nagombye kubiremereza ? Ese ni ngombwa ko ansaba imbabazi, cyangwa nirengagize ibyabaye ubundi twikomereze ?”

Muganire kuri icyo kibazo niba ari ngombwa. Sobanura icyakubabaje n’impamvu cyakubabaje, ariko mu ijwi rituje. Ntukumvikanishe ko yabikoranye ubugome, cyangwa ngo uvugane ihanjagari, kuko ibyo byatuma uwo mwashakanye yihagararaho. Ahubwo uzasobanure gusa ingaruka ibyo uwo mwashakanye yakoze byakugizeho.

Nguko uko mwabasha kwotoza kubabarirana hagati y’abashakanye kugiranmgo urukundo rwanyu rukomeze rutere imbere mubane mu mahoro nkuko mwasezeranye kubana mu mahoro akaramata.

Source : Jw.org
Gracieuse Uwadata