Uko wafasha umwana w’umwangavu wishoye mu rukundo
Abana bageze mu gihe cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu usanga rimwe na rimwe batangira kwishora mu rukundo haba mu bo bangana ndetse no mu babaruta bubatse ingo. Iyo umubyeyi utabaye hafi umwana we ngo amugire inama usanga bigize ingaruka ku mwana kuko muri myaka baba bashyushye cyane.
Dore icyo wakora ngo uwmana wawe azitware neza mu rukundo rwo mu bwangavu
Ganiriza umwana wawe ku by’urukundo rwo mu bwangavu : Kuganiriza abana bageze mu bwangavu no mu bugimbi iby’urukundo usanaga ari ibintu bitorohera ababyeyi kuko akenshi ababyeyi bibuka kubikora ariko babonye abana babo bafite inshuti. Ni byiza ko utangira kuganiriza uwmana wawe uko azitwara mu rukundo rwo mu bwangavu niyo waba uzi ko nta nshuti afite.
Umuhanga umwe witwa Meg Hickling mu gitabo cye yise The New Speaking of sex, yavuze ko abana benshi bageze mu bwangavu n’ubugimbi binjira mu rukundo kandi bikabatwara igihe mu kubaka urwo rukundo ku buryo iyo ababyeyi bashatse kurusenya bitaborohera. Meg akomeza avuga ko icyiza ari uko umubyeyi yaganiriza umwana we uko yabyitwaramo kurusha kumwumvisha ko ibyo akora ari amakosa.
Jya umuha urugero rw’uko witwaye muri iyo myaka : Ababyeyi bamwe bigira nkaho batigeze banyura muri icyo kigero bakabwirana uburakari abana babo. Nubwo abantu bose batitwara kimwe mu bwangavu ariko buri wese yiyumvamo impinduka. Ni byiza rero kuganiriza umwana wawe ukamusangiza amateka y’uko wabyitwaragamo ukabihuza naho iterambere rigeze kuko hari ubwo umwana yakubwira ko ibyo byari iby’aba cyera.
Jya wishyira mu mwanya we : Ibuka impinduka zakubayeho ubwo wari ugeze mu bugimbi n’ubwangavu bizagufasha kumenya uko wagira inama umwana wawe. Niba hari imyitwarire wagize ikakugiraho ingaruka ujye uyisangiza umwana wawe bizatuma arushaho kubona inzira nziza yanyuramo.
Jya ugira ibihe byo kuganira n’umwana wawe abimenyere : Kuva umwana akiri muto ujye umutoza kumuganiririza, umusohokane mugirane ibihe byiza akubwire ibyifuzo bye nawe umugire inama. Icyo gihe bizakorohera kuba wamuganiriza ageze mu gihe kigoranye cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu.
Irinde kumwaturiraho ibibi : Ababyeyi bamwe bibeshya ko gukangisha abana babo ibibi bazahura nabyo mu rukondo ko aribyo bizatuma bitwara neza nyamara baba bibeshya. Aho kubwira umwana wawe uti nutwara inda ntuzangarukire mu rugo, wamubwira uko yakwitwara kugirango yirinde kwishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina kandi ukabimubwira utamukanga, muganira neza ku buryo abona ko umushyigikiye mu byo arimo.
Irinde kumwinjirira mu buzima cyane ; umwana uri mu bugimbi n’ubwangavu ntaba yifuza ko abayeyi be bamwinjirira mu buzima. Irinde kumucunga cyane ngo usome mesaje ze muri telefoni, ujye mu cyumba cye ugisake kandi adahari n’ibindi. Jya umwereka ko umwizeye kandi ko ukimukunda.
Jya uha umwana uregero rwiza : umwana umwe yigaga mu kigo cy’ababikira babategeka kwambara ijipo ndende nuko umunsi umwe aza kugenda arayikata iba ngufi cyane abayobozi bayibonye barumirwa.
Bamutumye umubyeyi we azana mama we yambaye ijipo ngufi iteye isoni araza atuka ababikira ngo umwana we ntibakamwambike nk’abakecuru. Niba umubyeyi yitwara atyo biragoye ko azahana umwana we ngo amwumve kuko nta rugero rwiza amuha.
Ibi ni bimwe ababyeyi bakora bigatuma aban babo bitwara neza mu rukundo rwo mu bwangavu n’ubugimbi aho kuba batuma abana babo babyitwaramo nabi bikazabaviramo ingaruka mbi.
Gracieuse Uwadata