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Ibyo kwitondera mu myaka 2 ya mbere ukimara kurushinga

Yanditswe kuwa 12-09-2017 Saa 10 : 05

Igihe cyose hari icyo uteganya gukora ubanza kugitegura neza ukagiha intangiriro nziza kugirango uzagere ku byo wifuza. No ku bamaze kurushinga rero nabo ni uko bagomba gutekereza. Iyo imyaka ibiri ya mbere mutayihaye umusingi ufatika nyuma yaho biragora ko mwabigorora ndetse by’umwihariko iyi myaka iba igomba kwitabwaho cyane kuko hari nabashobora guhita basenya kubera ibibazo by’urudaca byibasira ingo zikiri nto.

Birashoboka ko mwatandukanywa n’akantu gato mukimara kubana
Uzasanga abashakanye batandukanye bataramarana imyaka ibiri impamvu yabo yo gutandukana iba itari impamvu ikomeye. Ahubwo bitewe n’impinduka abashakanye bahura nazo muri icyo gihe hari ubwo baheranywa no kureba ibibi gusa byabo bashatse. Niho bamwe batangira kumva baribeshye mu gihitamo.

Iyo mukimara kubana rero ni ingenzo kwirinda guha umwanya ibitekerezo bibi no kwita ku makosa y’uwo mwashakanye kurusha ibyiza bye. Ikibigira bibi cyane kugeza aho bamwe bwarwara indwara y’agahinda gakabije, nuko usanga igihe barambagizanyaga buri mwe yaritaga gusa ku byiza byonyine bya mugenzi bamara kubana bagakora ikinyuranyo, noneho agahanga amaso ibibi bye.

Ibibazo by’ubukene bishobora gutuma mwitana ba mwana

Kuba abakimara kurushinga bari basanzwe babaho ubuzima bwa buri wese ukwe akabona nta kibazo cy’ubukene yigeze agira mu buzima bwe bwose, usanga iyo mumaze kubana buri umwe atekereza ko impamvu yaturuste kuri mugenzi we. Kwitana ba mwana ntibiba bikwiriye ahubwo kiba ari igihe cyiza cyo kwicara mukajya inama nkuko bigarukwaho na Dr. Ted Huston, umwarimu muri kaminuza ya Texas, mu bushakatsi yakoze agaragazamo ibintu by’ingenzi byafasha abikimara kurushinga gukomeza urukundo rwabo.

Dr. Huston atanga inama ku bakimara kurishinga avuga ko byibura umwanga w amber eugomba gushira barashyizeho gahunda z’uburyo amafaranga azajya akoreshwa, kugabana imirimo, uburyo bwo kubana mu gihe cy’ikiruhuko, gahunda y’ibyerekeye gutera akabariro, uko muzajya mufata abo mu miryango, kumvikana ku myemerere igihe mudafite imwe, kuganira uko muzajya mukemura amakimbirane mwagiranye n’ibindi. Nyamara ngo igiteye agahinda nuko abashakanye bagenda bigizayo izi ngingo bakazirengaho bataziganiriyeho bikazabaturikana nyuma.

Wakora iki igihe uhuye n’ibibazo utari witeze ukimara kurushinga
Hari ibibazo abakimara kurushinga bashobora guhura nabyo birimo kubura urukundo wari witeze, kutisanzura k’uwo mwashakanye, kwikunda, kukuburira umwanya, gusesagura, ibibazo byerekeye gutera akabariro, kubabazwa umubiri n’intekerezo ( physical and emotional abuse) n’ibindi.

Uko wabyitwaramo
Ikintu cya mbere cy’ingenzi uzabakiraho igihe cyose ni ukugirana ibiganiro mukamenyera gukemura ibibazo mukoresheje ibiganiro. Icyo gihe wirinda gushinja uwo mwashakanye ukamugusha neza niyo yaba yakoze ikosa.

Ikorera ubushakashatsi ku bibazo uri guhura nabyo utari witeze. Soma ibitabo, jya mu biterane byigisha mibanire y’abashakanye ( mu matorero atandukanye barabigira), abajyanama b’ingo n’ahandi wabona ubafasha.

Nubwo bavuga ko imyaka ya mbere ukimar akurushinga iba itoroshye ariko na none iyo muyibayemo neza ibabera imyaka y’urwibutso mu rukundo rwanyu izajya ibafasha kurushaho gukomeza urukundo rwanyu. Nubwo ari imyaka yo gutungurwa n’ibyo utari witeze igihe uri kwiga k’uwo mwashakanye, iyo mufatanyije mwese mwabakira ku nkingi zikomeye zitazasenywa n’ibibonetse byose.

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