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Sobanukirwa indimi 5 z’urukundo

Yanditswe kuwa 07-09-2017 Saa 04 : 20

Indimi z’urukundo ( love languages) ni kimwe mu bintu abakundana by’umwihariko abashakanye baba bagomba gusobanukirwa kuko ariryo shingiro ryo kumenya uko ugaragariza urukundo umukunzi wawe bikamugera ku mutima nkuko abyifuza. Indimi 5 z’urukundo ni umutwe w’igitabo cy’uwitwa Gary Chapman, umujyanama w’ingo akaba ashingiro ku nyigisho za Gikristo.

Muri icyo gitabo cye, "Five love languages", Chapman asobanura uburyo izi ndimi zikoreshwa mu bashakanye n’uburyo bwo kumenya urwawe n’urw’umukunzi wawe akenye ko umubwiramo

Dore muri make uko Chapman abisobanura :
Kumubwira amagambo meza ( words of affirmation) :
Aha ni igihe ubwira uwo mwashakanye amagambo meza ; uburyo asa neza, uburyo yatetse neza, n’ibindi. Mbese ni uburyo bwo kwereka urukundo uwo mwashakanye ubinyujije mu mu magambo umubwira. Ibi biha icyizere uwo mwashakanye bikubaka isura ye kuri wowe akumva adashidikanya ku rukundo rwawe.

Kugirana ibihe byiza muri kumwe (Quality Time) : abashakanye bamwe bakunda cyane igihe bari kumwe nabo bashyingiranywe, bakora ibintu runaka bari kumwe buri wese yitaye ku wundi. Iyo uwo mwashakanye akunda kwerekwa urukundo muri ubu buryo, aba akeneye ko igihe muri kumwe umwitaho. Ukazimya televiziyo, nturangarire muri telefoni, …

Kwakira impano (receiving gifts) : Gutanga impano usanga bifatwa nk’igikorwa kimenyerewe mu mico myinshi. Impano ntihabwa agaciro n’ikiguzi wayiguze. Iyo mwashakanye akunda kwerekwa urukundo mu buryo bwo guhabwa impano wowe ukaba utabyitaho ibyo wakora byose akomeza kumva ko yashatse umugore/umugabo mubi utamwitaho. Ibi ntibyitiranywe no gukunda ibintu. We gusa aba ashaka kumenya ko uwo bashakanye amutekereza. Niyo wamwohereza ubutumwa bugufi ku munsi mukuru we w’amavuko yumva ko ari impano ikomeye kuri we.

Kumukorera ikintu runaka( acts of services) : Hano bisaba kumenya ko uwo mwashakanye akeneye ko umukorera akantu niy kaba gato ariko kagutwaye igihe kandi ukagahangamo agashya. Kuri bene aba bantu bashimishwa n’ibikorwa. Kuri bo ibikorwa biravuga kurusha amagambo. Ushobora kwirirwa umubwira ko umukunda ariko akeneye ko ubishyira mu bikorwa. Urugero nko kumutegurira icyayi, kumuhanagurira inkweto, kumufasha umwana n’ibindi. Gusa usabw akubikoranma umutima mwiza utijujuta.

Kumukora ku mubiri ( Physical Touch) : Gukoranaho ku mubiri ni uburyo bamwe bakunda cyane kwerekwamo urukundo ariko usanga benshi babishyira ku mwanya wa nyuma n’ababikora bakaba bagamije ku gutera akabariro. Nyamara buriya wasanga guhobera uwo mwashakanye, kumuryama ku gituza, kumukora mu misatsi bimukora ku mutima kurusha uko wamuha impano y’imodoka ihenze. Abantu bakunda kwerekwa urukundo muri ubu buryo baba bashaka kwerekwa ko bashinganye kandi ko bafite agaciro (reassuring and meaningful to someone)
Uko wowe ubwawe wamenya ururimi rw’urukundo rwawe ( ukeneye ko werekwamo urukundo)

Tekereza ibi bikurikira :

  1. • Ni gute nkunda kwereka abandi ko mbakunze ?
  2. • Ni iki nkunda kwiganyiraho cyane ko nkeneye ?
  3. • Ni iki nkunda gusaba cyane ?

Nyamara iyo bigeze ku kumenya ururimi rw’urukundo rw’uwo mwashakanye ho bitandukanaho gato kuko wumva ari ibintu bidasanzwe kandi bitoroshye. Dr. Chapman mu gitabo cye yagize ati : “ Ntabwo turi kuvuga ku bikugwa neza. Turi kuvuga ku rukundo. Urukundo ni ikintu dukorera abandi bantu. Rero uzasanga abashakanye bakundana ariko nta kibahuza bafite…. Tugomba kurenga agace kacu twiyumvamo ko tuguwe neza, tukagerageza kumva ibyiyumviro by’abandi n’ibyo bakeneye”

Niba hariho amarangamutima meza umuntu agira ni igihe ari mu rukundo yitegura kurushinga n’umukunzi we. Kuki se ibyo bihinduka nyuma yo kurushinga ? Chapman avuga ko akenshi biterwa no kuba ububiko bw’urukundo rwabo rurimo ubusa bitewe nuko bamwe bibeshye bakajya bakoresha nabi ururimi rw’urukundo. Nta kindi rero cyagufasha kumenya ururimi umukunzi wawe akoresha uretse kubinyuza mu biganiro no kwita ku byo ubona akunda kugukeneraho.

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