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Amabanga 10 afasha umugore kugira urugo rwiza

Yanditswe kuwa 09-08-2017 Saa 03 : 38

Mu muco nyarwanda bakunze kuvuga abagore nk’abantu bafite uruhare runini mu gusenyuka k’urugo cyangwa se mu gukomera kwarwo. Si mu muco nyarwand arero gusa ibyo byemerwa kuko no mu bazungu bamwe usanga bemeranya n’icyo kintu. Nyamara abagore benshi usanga bavuga ko urugo rwabo rugeze mu marembera nta garuriro rugifite, abandi bakavuga ko bakoze uko bashoboye kose ariko ko noneho ubu bumva bamaze kurambwira bageze aho bifuza gutandukana.

Mu gitabo cyitwa “ Secret of Fascinating Womanhood” kizwiho kuba gifasha abagore benshi kugira ingo nziza, bagaragaza amabanga 10 yagufasha kugira urugo rwiza hatitawe ku rwego rw’umubano rugezeho. Niba ari mubi cyane uzaba mwiza , niba wari mwiza uzaba mwiza kurushaho.

Reka muri make turebe ayo mabanga 10 uzabishobora ubafasha kumva uririmo rw’icyongereza turaza kumurangira uko yakibona kuri murandasi.

1. Kumenya kugabanya amakosa y’abagabo n’intege nke zabo. Muri make ibi bivuze kwemera umugabo uko ari ntushake kumuhindura kandi ukareba uruhande rwe rwiza ukaba arirwo witaho kurusha kwita cyane ku ruhande rwe rubi.

2. Kumenya kuzamura icyizere mu mugabo wawe bikagendana no kuzamura urukundo rwe akamenya kukwitaho. Iri banga urimenye neza biramufasha ariko ntirishobora gukora neza igihe ibanga rya mbere ryirengagijwe

3. Kumenya gutera imbaraga umugabo wawe igihe yagize intege nke. Ibi bikorwa mu buryo bituma urukundo yagukundana rwiyongera. Aha kandi niho abagore bazi ubwenge badashiriza abagabo babo kugera ku ntego y’ubuzima bwabo, guteza imbere imishinga yabo, akazi umugabo akora akumva ko ashyigikiwe n’umufasha we. Numenya gukomeza umugabo wawe igihe yacitse intege uzasanga no gutera imbere mu by’ubutunzi biborohera.

4. Kumenya gushira impungege ku bijyanye n’ubutunzi : ubutunzi bw’urugo ni kimwe mu bintu biteza amakimbirane mu miryango bikanasenya ingo. Iga kugirira icyizere umugabo wawe ku bijyanye n’ubutunzi, niba akorera make uyashime aho kumuca intege ngo akorera ubusa kandi ubona ko ntako atagize ngo abigereho. Ibi ahanini bifasha abagore binjiza kurusha abagabo kubana neza n’abagabo babo. Nubwo winjiza menshi umugabo akeneye kubahirwa imiterere ye ya kigabo nk’umuntu ufite inshingano ziremereye.

Iyo ubikoze nabi ashobora kureka burundu inshingano z’urugo kuko usa nkaho wamutwariye umwanya. Umutwaro w’ibitunga urugo ntugomba kukuvuna nkuko uvuna umugabo gusa ntugomba kubisesagura. Niba anangiza cyangwa se akaba ari umunebwe amabanga atatu ya mbere twabonye azamufasha guhinduka.

5. Kumenya kuzamura icyizere muri wowe n’ubugwaneza : umugore wifitiye icyizere kandi uzi kugwa neza, ubona ibintu mu nzira nziza ( in a positive way) niwe mugore wa mbere ukurura umugabo we. Utazibeshya ko gusa neza, kuba uteye neza bihagije ngo umugabo wawe akomeze kugukunda. Ibyo bishobora kuzamura irari rye ariko ntibyazamura urukundo rwe. Numenya iri banga nta kabuza umugabo wawe azagukundwakaza uko ubyifuza

6. Kumenya kwishimira kuba umubyeyi no kuba mutima w’urugo : Ibi nubwo abantu babifata nk’ibya kera ariko n’ubundi abagabo baracyabikunda kandi bibagusha neza kurushaho. Ni ingenzi kwishimira kwita ku bana bawe n’abandi bagize umuryango utabisiganiye n’umugabo. Uko abona ko ubyishimiye bitakubereye umutwaro niko bishobora no kumukururira kujya agufasha. Ishimire gutegurira ab’umuryango ifunguro ryiza muri bike cyangwa se byinshi mufite.

7. Kumenya kugira umwete wo kwiyitaho ubwawe : uko ubuzima bwakugenza kose ntukareke kwiyitaho haba inyuma ku mubiri ndetse n’imbere. Hera inyuma wiyiteho ku myambaro, insokozo, inseko n’ibindi bizatuma umugabo wawe akureba akakwishimira. Wibikora kubera gushaka kwishimirwa n’umugabo gusa ahubwo nawe ubwawe ujye wireba wimve urikunze aho kumva ko wiyanze.

8. Kumenya kuba umugore n’umugabo ukamureka akaba umugabo : Uko hari ibintu byihariye umugore yumvashaka gukorerwa bikamushimisha niko n’umugabo hari ibyo yihariyeho. Urugero niba nta mukozi umugabo yataha akajya gucana televiziyo akirebera umupira ushobora kumva bikubangamiye ukaza ubwira umugabo nabi. Nyamara buriya wari ukwiye kumenya ko hari ubwo ibyo by’umukozi aba atabyibuka kuko imirimo yo mu rugo akenshi si ibintu byabo. Niba ushaka ko agufasha musabe neza utuje. Buriya imirimo yo mu rugo no kwita ku rugo niho honyine abagabo bashimishwa no kuba abagore babarusha, ariko ahandi nko mu guhahira urugo, kumenya umutekano w’urugo, iterambere ryose ry’urugo abagabo bifuza gufata umwanya wa mbere kandi bituma bakunda abagore babo cyane( being dependent on your husband arouses his love)

9. Kumenya kugaragaza neza ibyo wifuza ku mugabo ku buryo abyubahiriza uko biri : Ibi akenshi bigaragazwa n’uburyo umwitwaraho n’imvugo ukoresha. Hari uburyo nawe uziko iyo hari icyo wifuza ku mugabo ukoresha kugeza ukigezeho. Ntibikwiye kugarukira ku byo umwifuzaho bijyanye nuko ushaka ko akugurira ikintu runaka gusa ahubwo wanabukoresha mu bindi biganiro byose. Niba mufitanye ikibazo cy’ubusinzi, kuba aguca inyuma, n’ibindi kuki utakoresha uburyo nkubu mukicara mukabiganiraho wicishije bugufi ?

10. Kumenya kugenzura umujinya wawe n’uw’umugabo wawe : ikindi kigora abashakanye ni ukatamenya kugenzura umujinya wabo. Wowe nk’umugore ushaka kubaka rero wiga uburyo bwo kugenzura umujinya wawe ndetse ukamenya no kugenzura uw’umugabo wawe. Uzi ibintu ushobora kubwira umugabo bikamutera umujinya niyo byaba ari ukuri. Iga kubivuga neza cyangwa se uceceke uzabivuge umunsi azaba adafite uburakari.

Igihe umugore akora umwitoza wo kubahiriza aya mabanga ni byiza ko abifatanya no gusenga kuko habamo gucika intege kuko ibyo ushaka kugeraho ubona bitaza neza nkuko ubyifuza kandi bikaba ari umwitozo ugoye.

Aya mabanga icumi yakuwe mu gitabo cyitwa “ Secret of Fascinating Womanhood”. Umuntu wabashaka gusoma icyongereza yakisomera akanze kuri iyi link http://www.womensetapart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Secrets-of-Fascinating-womanhood.pdf

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