Uko wakwirinda kugirana amakimbirane n’uwo mwashakanye

Yanditswe: 25-04-2017

Ingo nyinshi usanga zirangwa no guhora mu makimbirane adashira, intoinganya z aburi mwanya ku buryo usanga abazigize baraburiyemo amahoro. Akenshi usanga ibintu biteza amakimbirane mu ngo biba atari n’ibintu biremereye cyane ariko ugasnaga amahoro yarabuze kubera intonganya za buri gihe. Kuba abashakanye bagira ibintu runaka bapfa si cyo kibazo gikomeye. Ikibazo gikomera bitewe n’uburyo bitwara mu gihe bagize ubwumvikane buke ari nabyo bibyara amakimbirane.

Dore ibyagufasha kwirinda amakimbirane n’uwo mwashakanye :
Kwemera amakosa no gusabana imbabazi :
Ikintu gituma abashakanye bakuririza ibyo batumvikanye bikavamo n’amakimbirane nuko usanga nta kwemera ikosa kuri hagati yabo, ugasanga muratera amagambo buri wese ajyana ikosa kuri mugenzi we. Niba wumva ko urambiwe amakimbirane ugirana n’uwo mwashakanye cyangwa se ukaba ushaka kuyirinda mu gihe itarakugeraho, iga guca bugufi ukemera ikosa kandi ugasaba imbabazi.

Kwirinda guhagarara ku gitekerezo cyawe mu gihe n’icyo undi gishoboka : Hari ubwo muba mutumvikana ku kintu ariko ugsanga cyoroshye nde muramutse mukurikije n’icyo undi nta kibazo byatera. Urugero abashakanye bashobora gushwana bapfuye guhitamo ibyo barya, aho basohokera, chaine ya televiziyo bari burebe, n’ibindi nk’ibyo byoroshye guhara kandi ubuzima bugakomeza.

Gusa mu bintu ubona ko bikomeye kwemera ko mukurikiza igitekerezo cy’undi ntibyaba aribyo. Nko mu gihe umwe ashaka ko mugura imodoka irengeje ubushobozi bwanyu, ko mubyara abana benshi kandi nta bushobozi n’ibindi nk’ibyo, icyo gihe iyo munaniwe kumvikana mwakwitabaza abajyanama b’abashakanye.

Kwirinda guhora ushaka kugira ibibazo by’uwo mwashakanye ibyawe : Ni byo koko abashakanye baba babaho ubuzima bumwe, ibibazo by’umwe aribyo by’undi ariko hari ubwo habaho kurengera ugasanga no mu gihe adashaka kubikubwira ukomeza kumuhatiriza.

Urugero uwo mwashkaanye ashobora kuva ku kazi yarakajwe n’ibyo yahuye nabyo ugashaka kumwankira nkuko bisanzwe umubwira inkuru zitajyanye n’ibihe arimo. Icyo gihe ashobora guceceka ntagusubize cyangwa se yanagusubiza akakubwirana umushiha, mukaba muratoganye amakimbirane akavuka. Niba uwo mwashakanye arakaye wishaka nawe kurakara ngo wisanishe n’ibihe arimo. Igihe uziko ntacyo wagize uwo mwashakanye akaba ntacyo ashaka kukubwira, ujye umureka afate umwanya wo gushira uburakari.

Kubaha umwanya w’undi wihariye : Dr Terri Orbuch, umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze akaba n’umwarimu muri kaminuza ya Michigan, amaze imyaka myinshi yiga ku bashakanye n’impamvu zo gutandukana. Mu bushakashatsi aherutse gukora, we n’abandi bafatanyije babonye ko guha uwo mwashanye umwanya yigengaho ukawubaha bikomeza ingo kurusha kuba abshakanye bagirana ibihe byiza mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro.

Kuba umwe mu bashakanye agira igihe cye yumva yisanzuyeho ari wenyine cyanwga s eari kumwe n’insuto ze birafasha cyane. Gusa uwo mwanya ntugomba kuruta uwmanya amarana n’uwo bashakanye.

Umwanya wisanzuyemo utuma ibitekerezo biba bishya, akanezerwa bigatuma no mu rugo rwanyu mugira umunezero. Ni ngombwa rero kumva ko uwo mwashkanye akeneye umwanya we wo kwisanzura akaruhuka mutari kumwe.

Uwo mwashakanye ntashobora kukubera byose. Umunezero ukura mu mwanya wawe wisazuyeho uba ukenewe. Wajya muri siporo, mu minsi mikuru n’abanyeshuri mwiganye, n’ibindi bintu wisanzuramo utari kumwe n’uwo mwashakanye. Ibyo bizabarinda amakimbirane.

Kwirinda gucira urubanza uwo mwashakanye : Akenshi usanga iyo abashakanye bagize icyo bapfa buri umwe ibitekerezo bye byuzuramo ibibi gusa. Urugero umugore ashobora gutegura neza amafunguro yiteguye umgabo we, maze umugabo yagera mu rugo akahagera adashaka kurya wenda yabitewe n’umunaniro.

Icyo gihe umugore ashobora kurakazwa nuko umugabo we atariye, umutima we ukabyimba agatangira guhimba impamvu zabujije umugabo we kurya kandi zikaba ari impamvu mbi gusa. Uko ukomeza gupakir aibitekerezo byawe ibintu bibi niko ushobora gushotora uwo mwashakanye mukaba mwagera naho murwana kandi mupfa ubusa.

Kuganira no guhana amakuru : Ibiganiro hagati y’abashakanye no guhana amakuru y’uko mwiriwe bizajya bibarinda kugira amakimbirane no kwibwira ibibi ku wundi. Gahunda zanyu zose mugomba kuziganiraho. Twifashije urugero twatanze rw’umugabo watashye ananiwe akanga kurya.

Umugabo aramutse abaye yabwiye umugore we ko nimugoroba atari buze kurya hakiri kare ntiyirirwe ashyashyana amutegurira amafunguro, umugore ntiyagir auburakari amubaza impamvu atariye.

Ibi ni bimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi byabafasha kwirinda kugirana amakimbirane n’uwo mwashakanye ndetse n’igihe muyagiranye mukamenya uburyo bworoshey bwo kuyakemura tari yagera kure ngo mumar eumwanya muni mutongana cyangwa ngo munarwane.

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