Uko wakwitwara iyo ubona umwana wawe atagukunda

Yanditswe: 18-04-2017

Abyeyi bamwe bahangayikishwa no kuba abana babyaye batabishimira ndetse rimwe na rimwe bakababwira amagambo akomeretsa nko kumva umwana abwira umubyeyi we ko atamubyaye, ngo iyo aba yapfaga akavaho, ko azamusiga akigendera, n’ibindi. Ibi akenshi ababyeyi bamwe babana nabyo bakubura uko babyitwaramo.

Mu gutanga inama ku babyeyi bafite abana bameze batyo turifashisha ubuhamya bw’umubyeyi umwe watwandikiye agisha inama aho yagize ati; “Mungire inama mfite umwana w’umukobwa ariko ukuntu ateye byaranshobeye. Afite imyaka 10 iyo mubwiye kugira umurimo akora ahita arira akabikora ubona atabyishimiye ari nko kugahato.ubundi akagira umushiha ntajya avuga neza bibaho iyo ngize ngo ndamuhana,avuga amagambo menshi mabi ngo azigendera ajye kuba mayibobo n’ibindi byinshii umubyeyi atifuza kumva k’umwana yabyaye. Nta kibazo ajya ambwira afite namubaza impamvu ngo aradutinya.mumfashe mumbwire uko namutwara.”

Uyu mubyeyi ikibazo cye kirmo ingingo nyinshi, ariko turibanda cyane ku ngigo yo kumubwira amagambo mabi agaragaza ko atamwishimira nk’umubyeyi we:

Zimwe mu mpamvu zatera umwana kudakunda ababyeyi be

Mu nyandiko yanditswe na Sara Bean, umujyanama w’abana mu by’imitekerereze yanyuze ku rubuga rwitwa empoweringparents.com, yavuze ko impamvu zishobora gutera umwana guhorana umunabi no kwereka ababyeyi be ko atabakunda ari izi zikurikira:

Kuba umwana afite ikibazo yabuze uko asobanura: Umwana ashobora kugira ikibazo yabuze uko avuga bitewe n’imiterere ye ndetse n’ubucuti asanzwe agirana n’ababyeyi bikamutera gushyira ikibazo ku babyeyi. Abana bamwe batangiye kumenya ubwenge batangira gutekereza ko ibibi bibabaho biterwa no kuba ababyeyi babo barababyaye ko iyo bataza kubabyara nta kibazo baba bafite. Ibyo biba bigeze ku rwego rwo gutekereza akagera kure akibaza impamvu b’ibiri kumubaho. Shishoza umenye impinduka zatewe n’ikintu kibi cyabaye ku buzima bwe. Ibyo akenshi biba ku bana bafashwe ku ngufu n’abantu bizeraga, umwana uhabwa ibihano bibabaza umubiri cyane n’ibindi.

Kuba umwana abikoresha ngo ahabwe icyo yifuza: Ku mwana utazi uburyo bwo gusaba icyo ashaka nawe, hari ubwo akoresha amagambo mabi yo gukanga ababyeyi be kugirango akunde agere ku byo ashaka guhabwa. Gusa ibi biba rimwe na rimwe ntabwo umwana abikora buri gihe.

Kwikura mu karengane: hari ubwo umwana aba atekereza ko arengana akaba yavuga amagambo mabi no kugaragaza ko adakunda ababyeyi be mu rwego rwo kwikura muri ako karengane. Urugero niba uwmana atsindwa mu ishuri kandi aba ntako atagize, abandi bana bagahembwa ariko we agasigara kandi nawe yarashyizeho umwete, icyo gihe atangira kubona ko arengana akaba yatekereza ko hari indi mpamvu ituma we adashimirwa ngo akundwe nk’abandi bana.

Kuba yaratereranywe n’ababyeyi : akenshi ababyeyi batekereza ko gushaka ibitunga abana n’amashuri meza bihagije ku mwana. Nyamara ibyo ni ukwibeshya kuko umwana icyo akeneye cy’ingenzi ni ukwitabwaho n’ababyeyi be (affection). Ukabaha umwanya igihe bagushatse bakakubona. Kuri ubu abana benshi bishwe n’agahinda kuko batabona ababyeyi babo, aho bababoneye bakaba gusa baje kubaha amabwiriza, kubabwira amakosa yabo, kubahana usanga nta bihe byiza umwana ajya agirana n’umubyeyi we.

Kuba atarerwa n’ababyeyi be kandi bariho: Kuba umwana atarerwa n’ababyeyi be kandi aziko bariho nabyo biramutera kubanga no kwiyanga ubwe. Ntabwo abantu bateye kimwe. Ushobor akuba waratandukanye n’umugabo ufite abana babiri, umwe bikamukomeretsa undi ntagire icyo aba.

Kuba umwana ahora abwirwa ibibi bye: ababyeyi ndetse n’abantu muri rusange usanga ibyoroha ari ukubwira abandi ibibi byabo. Iyo bigeze ku bana birabangiza cyane. Si byiza guhora ubwira umwana ko ari umunebwe, ko agira umushiha n’ibindi bibi bye. Iga kujya uvuga ibyiza ubona ku mwana bizamutera umwete kurusha kumubwira ibibi bye. Ndetse niyo umubwiye ibibi bye yaramenyereye kubwirwa ibyiza bituma yikosora.

Ibindi byatera umwana kwanga ababyeyi be no kutabishimira:

  • Gutonesha bamwe mu bo bavukana
  • Kumugenzura cyane
  • Kumuhatira kuba indashyikirwa mu ishuri, mu mirimo yo mu rugo, no mu mibanire n’abandi ugasanga ahozwa ku nkeke ngo abe indashyikirwa
  • Kuba umubyeyi w’umunyagitugu ushyiraho amategeko ntakuka n’ibindi

Uko wakwitwara igihe umwana afite imyitwarire nk’iyo

Irinde kumusubirisha umujinya: niba uwmana akubwiye ngo ndakwanga, wihita nawe umubwirana umujinya ngo uramwanga. Banza utuze ubone kumuha igisubizo. Si byiza guhita umusobanurira ko ibyo akoze ataribyo ako kanya kuko aba akirakaye atari bugutege amatwi

Ntugahagarike gukunda umwana wawe: igisubizo cy’ibibazo si uko wahangana n’umwana wawe ngo utangire kwicuza ibyo wamukoreye, amajoro waraye akiri uruhinja n’ibindi. Komeza umukunde nubwo ubona ko agoranye

Gushaka umujyanama mu by’imitekerereze: Ubusanzwe urukundo rw’umwana n’ababyeyi be rushobora kuzamo agatosi mu gihe cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu. Iyo bibaye mbere yaho kandi ukabona ko umwana komeje, ibyiza nuko washaka abajyanama mu by’imitekerereze bakagufasha.

Gracieuse Uwadata

Forum posts

IBITEKEREZO

  • To create paragraphs, just leave blank lines.