Impamvu abashakanye bashobora gutandukana kandi bakundana

Yanditswe: 04-04-2017

Kumva ukunze uwo mwashakanye nawe akumva agukunze ntibihagije ngo bitume mubana neza. Ikintu cyatuma mutabana neza ni ukatamenya kubyaza umusaruro ibyo mutandukaniyeho ahubwo ugasanga bibaye intandaro y’amakimbirane kandi umwe yajya yicara akumva akunze uwo bashakanye n’undi nawe akumva amukunze ariko mu rugo rwabo bitagenda neza

Kugira ibyo mutandukaniyeho ahanini biterwa n’imiryango mwakuriyemo itandukanye, amateka atandukanye n’ibindi usanga bituma mugira ibyo mutandukaniraho. Ubusanzwe kugira ibyo mutumva kimwe ntabwo byakabaye intandaro y’amakimbirane, ariko usanga abantu batabisobanukirwa bikaba byanatuma abantu batandukana kandi buri umwe yumva agikunze undi ariko atazi neza ibitagenda.

Uzasanga bene aba bantu bafite ibyo batandukaniyeho ibiganiro byabo bigorana kuko ibyo umwe avuze sibyo undi yumva. Ahubwo usanga buri gihe buri umwe ashinja undi kudashyira mu gaciro, bagahora bameze nk’abahanganye.

Ibintu abantu bakunze kudahuza bitewe n’imico bakuriyemo nuko bisanze baremwe harimo intumbero, ibyo uha agaciro, intego y’ubuzima ufite n’ibindi. Usanga buri wese aba afite ibye byihariye bidahuye n’iby’undi ariko ntibyari bikwiye kubuza abakundana gukomeza kubana kandi neza.

Uko abakundana bafite ibyo badahuza babana neza :

Iyo mufite ibyo mudahuza bihora bitera amakimbirane mu rukundo rwanyu, muba mukeneye kwiyumvamo ubushake bwo kuba buri wese akeneye gushora ku wundi aho kwiganishaho gusa.

Ntugategereze ko uwo mwashakanye ariwe ushyira ingufu mu gutuma urukundo rwanyu rugenda neza. Itekerezeho ubwawe usuzume icyo wakora ngo mu rugo rwanyu haboneke umutekano. Witekereza ko ibyo uzakorera uwo mwashakanye aribyo nawe azagukorera. Ushobora kumukorera ibyiza bishoboka ariko we ntahite ahinduka. Gusa uko ibihe bishira birashoboka ko mwazagera no ku rwego rwo kumva ibintu kimwe, cyane ko mufite urukundo nubwo mwumva ko mutakirufite kubera gufata nabi ibyo mutandukaniyeho bikaba intandaro yo kubatanya.

Ikindi cyabafasha nuko mwari mukwiye kumenya ko itandukaniro abashakanye bafite haba mu myumvire n’ahandi ryari rikwiye kuba urufatiro rwo kububakira urugo rukomeye mu gihe iryo tandukaniro mutarifata nk’itandukaniro ahubwo mukaribona nk’ubwuzuzanye. Urugero niba umubyeyi umwe yumva ko gukubita abana aribwo buryo bwiza bwo kubahana undi nawe akumva ko kubaganiriza aribwo buryo bwiza. Icyo kintu ntimwari mukwiye kugipfa. Muramutse muretse buri wese agakoresha uburyo azi mu guhana umwana, mwazisanga mwaruzuzanyije kandi bikagenda neza.

Ntimukibagirwe kujya muganira ku byo mudahuje. Kuganira ku byo mudahuje cyangwa se ku byo mudaha agaciro kimwe bizabafasha kumenya ko nubwo hari ibyo wumvaga udaha agaciro ariko ko uwo mwashakanye akeneye ko ubiha agaciro. Tekereza ku bintu wumva uha agaciro ariko ukabona uwo mwashakanye atabyitaho, wibuke ko nawe ariko bimugendekera iyo hari ibyo aha agaciro ariko akabona wowe ntacyo bikubwiye. Ihereho utangire kujya ubyitaho nubwo ubyita ko byoroshye wemere guhinduka.

Uzasanga abantu benshi babana bakaza gutandukana ariko na nyuma yo gutandukana akumva agikunze uwo batandukanye. Akenshi biba byaratewe no kutamenya gutwara neza ibyo mutandukaniyeho ngo buri umwe ashore imbaraga ze mu kumenya ibyo undi amukeneyeho, nyamara biramutse bikozwe ntibyabuza abafite ibyo badahuza kubana neza.

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