Uko waba umubyeyi mwiza igihe urera abana ubereye mukase

Yanditswe: 31-01-2017

Kimwe mu bibazo bikunze kuzana intonganya mu ngo z’abashakanye harimo kuba harimo umwe wabyaye abana ku ruhande akabazana mu rugo ngo barererwane n’abandi. Rimwe na rimwe abana bashobora kuba babi, umubyeyi umwe akababera mubi, cyangwa se ababyeyi bose bakabera abana babi.

Mu gihe rero urera abana ubereye mukase cyangwa se ukaba uri umugabo umugore wawe afite abandi bana yabyaye murera, dore uburyo wababera umubyeyi mwiza;
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Kubitegura neza: nkuko kuba umubyeyi w’abana bawe bitegurwa, niko no kuba umubyeyi w’abana ubereye mukase bigomba gutegurwa. Catherine Audibert, umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze avuga ko mbere yo gufata umwanzuro wo gushyingiranwa mugomba kubanza kubiganiraho neza. Ababyeyi bombi bakitegura kandi n’abana bagategurwa. Ni byiza ko utangira kwimenyereza abana ugiye kurera, uwo muzashakana akabakwereka, mukajya musangira, kubagurira impano n’ibindi bituma muba inshuti.

Kuba mu mwanya wawe: Ababyeyi bamwe iyo barera abana babereye mukase bajya bakora ikosa ryo gushaka kwishyira mu mwanya utari uwabo. Catherine avuga ko kuba mukase w’umuntu bitandukanye no kuba uri mama we wamubyaye. Gusa byose ntibikuraho kuba umubyeyi mwiza. Gushaka kwishyira mu mwanya w’umubyeyi udahari nibyo bikurura amakimbirane ugasanga iyo abana bavuze ku mubyeyi wabo utangira guhangayika.

Catherine avuga ko kandi kuba mu mwanya wawe bitavuze gukora nabi ngo ushyire mu bikorwa uko abantu bafata ba mukase. Biragoye kuko usanga sosiyete yaramaze kwishyiramo ko mukase w’umuntu ari umuntu mubi. Usanga amafilimi menshi, amakinamico, inkuru zandikwa n’ibindi bivuga ku bubi bwa mukase. Ibyo bituma benshi biyumvisha ko koko bagomba kuba babi.

Kuba mu mwanya wawe ni gukora inshingano zawe nk’umubyeyi ukita ku bana ariko bashaka kuvuga kuri mama wabo ukabareka bakisanzura, bashaka kumusura igihe akiriho ukumva ko nta kibazo kirimo, mbese ntushake gukuraho isura bari bafite kuri mama wabo cyangwa se papa wabo ku barerwa n’umubyeyi w’umugabo.

Kwirinda gufuhira abana: Hari ubwo uwo mwashakanye aba afite impugenge ku bana be ugasanga abaha umwanya munini kurusha uwo aha abandi cyangwa se no kurusha uwo aguha. Ibyo uba ugomba kubyihanganira mukajya mubiganiraho gahoro gahoro kugeza igihe yumva ko akwizeye ku bana be. Iyo uwo mwashakanye atakwizera ngo yizere ko wita ku bana be bishobora gutuma mubana nabi.

Kumenya ko atari ngombwa ko abana bagukunda: uzasanga ababyeyi bamwe barera bana b’abo bashakanye bababazwa nuko bafata neza abana babo ariko abana ntibabakunde. Urukundo ntabwo ari agahato ku bantu bose. Uzasanga nawe ufite abo wanga nabo ukunda. Gushaka rero ko umuntu agukunda ku ngufu ntabwo byoroha. Aho guhangana nawe ngo agukunde , wowe wishakamo uko wabana nawe ( kubyakira) .

Gushyiraho amategeko mukurikiza kandi buri wese akamenya inshingano ze: Nubwo bidakunda ko agukunda nk’umwana wawe ngo nawe umukunde nk’umubyeyi we bwite, ntibivuze ko mugomba kubana nabi. Hari amategeko n’amabwiriza yabafasha kubana neza. Nko kumenya ko mugomba kubahana, umubyeyi akamenya ko agomba kurinda abana nk’umuntu mukuru uri mu rugo n’ibindi. Ayo mabwiriza agomba gushyirwaho n’ababyeyi bombi kandi mukirinda kugira aho mubogamira.

Birashoboka rero ko mu gihe urera abana ubereye mukase wababera umubyeyi mwiza hatitawe ku kuba wumva utabakunda nk’abo wabyaye cyangwa se ngo nabo bagukunde nkuko abana wabyaye bagukunde. Kuba hazamo izo mbogamizi ntabwo byakubuza kubabera umubyeyi mwiza.

Gracieuse Uwadata

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