Ibihe ingo zicamo n’uko wabyitwaramo
Bamwe mu bashinga ingo uracyasanga batarabasha gutandukanya ibihe banyuramo mu mibereho yabo kuva bashinze urugo, uko ibihe bigenda bisimburana, kuburyo usanga bivamo amakimbirane ashobora gusenya umuryango
Imibanire y’abarushinganye igenda ihindagurika bitewe n’igihe bagezemo nk’ uko kugirango umuntu abe mukuru anyura mu bihe bitandukanye.
Muri ibyo bihe rero ingo zicamo twavuga :
- Igihe cy’irambagiza (Fiançaille)
- Igihe cya nyuma y’ubukwe nta mwana uravuka
- Igihe cyo gutwita no kubyara
- Igihe cyo kurera abana batoya
- Igihe cyo kurera abana bakuze bageze mu bugimbi n’ ubwangavu ( Adolescence)
- Igihe cyo gushyingira
- Igihe Abana bose bavuye mu rugo
Muri ibi bihe bitandukanye ingo zicamo usanga ibihe byiza bihera ku gihe cy’ irambagiza ari na cyo gikurikirwa n’icya nyuma y’ ubukwe nta mwana uravuka. Muri ibi bihe ni bwo usanga mu rugo harangwa umunezero. Ibibazo bivuka mu bihe bikurikiraho iyo umugabo n’ umugore batabashije guhindura ibitekerezo bijyanye n’ ibihe bagezemo.
Urugero rukunda kugaragara cyane ku bagore, ni ukugerereranya igihe cya nyuma y’ubukwe n’icya « fiançailles » bagakeka ko abagabo babo babanze, kuko batakibatelefona buri saha, cyangwa kuko batakibasohokana cyane, n’ibindi. Benshi ugasanga bibabaza ko abagabo babo batangiye kubanga.
Ku bagabo na bo imyitwarire nk’iyo igaragara babyaye ugasanga umugore yita ku mwana amasaha menshi akayamuharira kandi mbere igihe cye cyose cyari icyo kwita ku mugabo. Iki gihe rero umugabo ashobora kumva ko nta gaciro agifite ku mugore we bigatuma yisubirira ku nshuti za mbere cyangwa se agahungira mu kazi bitewe no gutekereza ko umugore akunda umwana kumurusha.
Rimwe na rimwe iyo umwana akuze ashobora guteza ubwumvikane bucye hagati y’ababyeyi. Cyane cyane ibi biba mu gihe abana babaye ingimbi n’abangavu. Urugero ni nk’iyo umwana w’umukobwa asaba se uruhushya rwo kugira aho ajya akarumuha atamugoye yatinda ugasanga nyina atangiye gutonganya se.
Gusa iyo urebye aho isi igana, usanga ibi bitagombye kuba impamvu yo guhembera amakimbirane mu ngo ashobora no kuzisenya. Ahubwo imyitwarire yabo yagombye kujya ihindukana n’ ibihe bagezemo.
Icyo wakora
Ukurikije ibihe bitandukanye ingo zicamo ni byiza kubitekerezaho no kumva mugenzi wawe mubana mu rugo.
Icyo umugore yakora mu bihe nk’ ibi :
Ku umugore umwana ntagomba kuba urwitwazo rwo kwibagirwa umugabo no kutamuha umwanya.
Ni byiza kuba hafi y’umugabo mu masaha yo gufungura mukaganira. Muzi ko hari abagore babyara bakamara amezi atatu barira mu cyumba, umugabo yijyana ku meza !
Kugerageza gukora ibyo wakoraga mbere urugero niba usanzwe umushakira imyenda ubyibuke n’ubwo washaka undi ugufasha ariko ukabikora.
Mbese umugabo wawe abone ko ntako utagize n’ubwo utakora byose kuko utabishoboye hari n’umwana, ntibisa n’uko wamuta burundu. Ni byiza cyane ko mbere y’uko ushaka ko mugenzi wawe ahinduka wowe ubwawe wagerageza kwitwara neza.
Icyo umugabo yakora mu bihe nk’ ibi
Niba mubyaye umwana wa mbere, umwana ni umugisha. Nk’umugabo ntiwagombye kumva ko utitaweho. Byaba byiza ahubwo ufashije umugore wawe mu nshingano nshya zitoroshye zo kurera umwana mubyaye.
Byaba ngombwa ugiye unamwicara iruhande aho kujya kwisomera ibinyamakuru cyangwa gushakisha abo wasura, ukamuganiriza ukagira uruhare mu kurera umwana n’ubwo utamwonsa ariko ushobora kumufasha kumwoza, kumuhindura,kumusinziriza, n’ibindi.
Ufite Ikibazo cyangwa igitekerezo kitugezeho.
Kunda T